Does that make sense? I did just admit that I normally date guys outside my race. Melanie Killen says white and black parents have a great deal of anxiety about the idea of their children possibly engaging in interracial dating. Killer was hired to help conduct an experiment called Anderson Cooper study on children and race. The below two children were a part of the study and this is what they had to share:.
7 Things to Remember If You’re a White Person Dating a Person of Color
Jimmy , a Black 7th grader, had serial dated white girls and his parents seemed to disapprove. Many students were surveyed and it was reported that a majority of them have been informed by their parents, and even their friends, to not pursue an interracial relationship. However, when two authorities that were conducting this experiment interviewed some of the parents of these children, they received less harsher answers. The father was speaking to his daughter, whom started to date an African American at her school.
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Growing up, what did your parents inform you about interracial dating? What are your takes and experiences on dating outside your ethnicity? Your email address will not be published. Sign me up for the newsletter! Mornings are also a bad time to talk to your parents in an extended way about anything , since you will all probably be rushing about eating breakfast, showering, and making other preparations before school or work.
7 Things to Remember If You're a White Person Dating a Person of Color - Everyday Feminism
Choose a private place. If you talk in public, you might not get a straight answer from them. You could ask them directly when they will be home so you know when to call. Evening hours from 7: Emphasize the good qualities of your partner.
Share with your parents all the good things about your partner. How do they show you they love you? What do you love about them? They are so generous and helpful. They always open my eyes to new and interesting things. I really like it. To find out why your parents feel the way that they do, ask questions about their perspectives on race and interracial relationships.
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Try to be patient and respectful as you ask these questions. Some questions you might ask include: What are your thoughts on other races and interracial relationships? Why do you think about them this way? Did something happen that caused you to think this way?
What do you think would have to happen to change the way you think about other races and interracial relationships? Be ready to answer questions. In all cases, listen actively by nodding and making eye contact. Use your pre-talk planning period to think about specific points that your parents might be concerned about. Try to be patient as you answer your parents' questions. These questions may seem offensive, but they are coming from a place of ignorance and fear.
Specific questions your parents might have include: How will you raise children? Are you worried about what others will think?
Respond to your parents. If your parents disapprove of interracial dating, let them know that you wish they were more open-minded. Some parents may have legitimate concerns about the cultural compatibility of you and your partner. Ensure your parents that you have and will continue to think about their point of view. Remind racist parents of all the good things about your partner. Their race does not define them.
However, it is important to keep the discourse civil. Be patient and avoid yelling, name-calling, and violence. If you feel your temper rising, breathe in slowly through your nose for three seconds, then exhale through your mouth for five seconds. This simple breathing exercise will help you relax.